I have this song in my head as I trudge through Friday afternoon. Today marks exactly one month since my last ultrasound. The ultrasound where they told me Dustin's heart had stopped beating. Exactly four weeks ago today I was curled up in a little ball thinking I couldn't go on, there was no way I could handle this heartbreak for a second time. But, here I am. Alive and well and working. I have to go on. I need to think that there will be better days ahead of me and the sun will shine in my life again. I need to keep a positive attitude and believe that one day God will bless us with a baby. We will pick ourselves up and we will try again. How many times we will try is a whole other topic. I guess we will just have to face that bridge when we cross it. I am just taking each day as it comes and hopefully each day will bring me a little closer to healing. I will survive!
On days like today, I wish I lived closer to my family. I would love to hang out with my wonderful understanding sisters who know that I am hurting and what I'm going through sucks. I would love to get a hug from my big strong brother. I would love to hear my dad say "I love you" in his sweet voice that is so familiar and comforting to me. And I would love to climb up in the rocking chair like when I was little and curl up in my moms arms.
... There'd Be Days Like This Mama Said.