Thursday, September 1, 2011

September has Arrived

It's here. September. This was supposed to be a happy month. A month of new beginnings, of new life, of change. This was the month that Dustin was supposed to arrive. We should be welcoming a baby into our world in just a few short weeks. But we're not. Because that is how life is. These are the cards we were dealt and this is how the game is being played. And that is okay. I'm trying not to dwell on the what should have beens and think more of what is going on now. But it's hard. I want my babies back.

But, I am determined to make the best of it. I have been feeling half decent this week. Last week was bad health wise and I stayed home from work for a couple of days. But this week is good. I have cut out gluten and even though that may not be why I'm feeling better, I'm going to stick with it for a little bit. I will be starting my two online courses next week and that will be something to keep me busy and occupied. I'm also thinking about starting up some form of exercise. I know that I usually lose motivation really quickly and I don't last very long at whatever new thing I have decided to do, but hey, why not start something. I don't know what yet though. I'll have to think about it. I keep coming back to kickboxing but I think I need to build up my fitness level first. I just keep joking about how if a certain someone gets pregnant with their second baby before I am with my first, I'm going to need some serious therapy and anger management. I may as well get a head start seeing as the chances of that happening keep going up with each passing day.

Something else that I have decided to do is take a step back from The Bump. Even though I love the online forums and I have made some good friendships, I need to step back and focus on myself, Dan, and our life. It gets me down going on there and seeing all the people getting pregnant and moving on or at least be able to try and get pregnant. I just get jealous that we're not really close to that point. I just need to step away from all the pregnant people. There are so many people now who are either pregnant of have babies or are trying to have babies. And then there are us. The loners with no kids. Boo.

But no, I am trying to be positive and focus on the bright side of things. We have a busy month coming up. We have something going on every weekend. I don't know how we keep doing this to ourselves. We just get so booked up so far in advance and then we run around like crazy. We need to cut back. But I don't know how. It just happens.

Onto another happy note. I am going dress shopping. I'm not too sure when exactly but I am going to go out and find myself a stunningly beautiful new dress that I will look fabulous in. Because I am embracing the fact that I am young and beautiful and thin. If I can't be pregnant, I will look dang good in a new dress!

Alright, enough of the ranting and randomness. I need to blog more often so that these posts are more spread out and less overwhelming. I just don't always have time. Oh well. No one really reads this thing anyways. It's more for my peace of mind and venting. And in case you actually are reading my blog, here is a yummy cupcake for your viewing pleasure!


  1. having difficulty posting but have been reading

  2. I do enjoy reading your posts ... great way you express yourself, Jen!!
    Delicious looking cupcake ... but not as good as I picture your rollo cookies

  3. Sending a hug today and thinking of you.