Friday, June 29, 2012

Feeling Defeated

Sorry that I haven't posted much recently. The middle of June got busy and then this past week has been hard. Since I'm trying to keep my blog a little happier, I haven't really felt like posting. But I've decided I need to give an update for those of you who don't know what's going on.

I don't remember if I mentioned this back in April but I had made an appointment with a doctor of internal medicine. It was made for June 25th, this past Monday. I was looking forward to it and counting down the days and feeling a little bit hopeful that maybe he would be able to help me. I figured the least he would do was run more tests and look for things that my normal doctor had missed. Well, I was disappointed. He basically told me I had all the testing that could be done and there wasn't anything else he could do for me. He is scheduling me a CT scan just to be sure but he said he would "bet money" that nothing is going to show up. So I have been given the unnofficial diagnosis of Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). Which I have heard is what they tell you if they don't know what else is wrong. Woot woot.

So since Monday I have felt discouraged and depressed and defeated. I have no idea what to do now or where to go or what my next step is. I had been holding out hope for this appointment, deep down I really thought that he would be able to help me. But now that he can't, I don't know what to do. I don't want to live like this for the rest of my life. I don't want to feel nauseous and have cramps and diarrhea. I don't like it one bit.

I've been laying low and wallowing in self pity. To top it off, I got a bad head cold on Wednesday and am still feeling like complete crap. What a great week it has been. I will try and get back into the swing of things next week and maybe post a garden update or some more baking stories.

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