So once again I bit the bullet and set up an appointment to see a counsellor. This will be my third try, it's got to work eventually right?
Here's a little backstory. In April 2011, I decided it was time for me to see a counsellor. I had been struggling for weeks and feeling very overwhelmed with my two losses and just life in general. So I booked an appointment with a Christian one. Let's just say it didn't go well. It was horrible but I definitely wasn't comfortable and even a little weirded out. After that fail, I figured I was better off not seeing one. I tried, it sucked, move on. Until January 2012. Once again, I was in a bad place. I was still overwhelmed with my two losses, my job, being TTA, being sick, and it being winter. So after some encouragement from my family and friends, I tried again. I found a counsellor who I thought looked good. I saw her probably about 6 times from January to April and while I was comfortable with her and she was super nice, it just wasn't helping. She would listen and be sympathetic but she didn't really have any advice or coping mechanisms or anything for me. So why pay $150 an hour for something that isn't doing anything? So I stopped.
Which leads me to now. I need help. I feel like I'm treading water and losing control and in the meantime losing my mind. I am overwhelmed and stressed and sad and angry and frustrated. It is also starting to cause strain on my relationship with Dan. I'm frustrated with everything and he is frustrated and we are just worn out from this past year. It's been hard. So, I asked a friend for a referral and she gave me the name and number of a counsellor. I called yesterday and made an appintment for next week. I'm really hoping it will go well and I'll click with her and she'll be able to help me. Maybe if this time fails I'll stop trying. Maybe counselling just isn't for everyone and the problem is with me, not them. But, I'm willing to give it one more try.