Friday, December 7, 2012

I'm Still Broken

In regards to my health that is. Almost a year and a half of being sick and seeing multiple doctors and I am no closer to having an answer. This just plain sucks.

For those of you who don't know, I got what seemed to be a flu back in June 2011. It involved nausea, diarrhea and one bout of vomiting. I felt crappy for a week but then seemed to be improving. I didn't feel good but was feeling a bit better and hoped to be back to my normal self soon. At the end of July 2011, it returned. And this time it didn't leave. I was nauseated, had shooting pains on my right side, had bad diarrhea and just overall felt horrible. I went to see my family doctor and she told me it would pass. It didn't. I lost 10 pounds over two months putting me down to 106 lbs (I'm 5'7") and I completely lost all motivation to do anything. I felt horrible and I spent most of my time curled up at home with Dan and a movie. At least I was close to a bathroom that way. Since that summer, I have been fighting this "sickness". It has gotten a bit better over time but I still don't feel good. These past few months have been the best ones I've had in a while. And for that I am thankful.

I got depressed and lost my joy in life. I didn't want to go anywhere, see anyone or eat anything. I cried a lot. I was mad at everything. I was mad at my body for failing me and making me feel so horrible. I was mad at all the doctors I have seen for not being able to help me. I was mad at the fact that we had to stop trying to get pregnant because I was sick. I was mad that everyone else was going on with their lives while it felt like mine had come to a dead stop. I was mad that my husband couldn't take me out on a date. I was just mad.

I have tried so many things. I've had multiple rounds of bloodwork done, I've had two abdominal ultrasounds, I've had both a colonoscopy and an endoscopy, I've had a CT scan and urine samples done. I've seen my family doctor, a gastroenterologist, an internist, a naturopath, a counsellor and a pharmacist. And yet still, after all this time, no one really knows what's going on inside of me. It's frustrating.

Our latest attempt to get answers led us to a clinic in Ottawa. And this is where we are at. I am on multiple supplements including a probiotic, magnesium, digestion enzymes and something called tyro-trypt that is supposed to help my mood. I am adding hemp protein powder to my smoothies in the morning and cutting back on carbs and sugars. I am focusing mainly on eating meat, veggies, fruits and whole grains. I am also going gluten-free on top of being dairy-free. My diet is in the process of a major overhaul and I am trying to adjust.

Please join me as I embark on this next leg of my journey towards health. I will be blogging about the adventures of gluten-free cooking, cutting out processed foods, battling my sugar/chocolate cravings and learning a new way of eating. I will also continue to blog about my DIY projects, crafting, gardening, farming, room makeovers and all those other fun things you have come to love and expect.

Thanks to my wonderful husband for sticking by my side and encouraging me to fight back, I have been doing better. I had a good summer and I am learning to enjoy each day that I have. To take pleasure in the good days and know that the bad days will pass. To embrace life and take pleasure in small things. This blog has helped me so much these past few months, to get out of my slump and write about my life. Because my life is good.


  1. Im so sorry your health has been so poor! it just sounds terrible :(

    My good friend has been gluten free for 2 years now. If you have any questions, I can get you in contact with her! She used to feel rotten a lot without reason and now she feels SO much better, but it isnt easy. Her one big advice is don't eat a lot of products labeled "gluten free", like things made with substitutes- she finds if she eat too much of it she feels sick.

    She also used to be dairy free and now eats very minimal dairy!!

  2. You are such a strong and inspiring person Jenn to be able to say my life is good despite everything you have been through. Your post gave me goosebumps, I'm so proud of you for fighting back against this illness and being able to find joy in the little things. ((hugs)) I will be praying that you find your answer soon.

  3. Casey - Thanks for the offer of contacting your friend, I may take you up on it. I'm not eating all that gluten free stuff, I'm focusing mainly on healthy natural foods. The real stuff. Although I may cave over Christmas and pick up some gluten free cookies. And hopefully I will be able to add back in some dairy soon! I miss it.

    Erin - Thank you. Your words mean a lot to me and I really appreciate your support. Love you.

  4. You can make gluten free cookies (besides, apparently you need to pack on some pounds anyway so eat up!!)

    I recently pinned these bad boys to make my friend for Christmas

    I had bought her these at a bakery for her birthday and she loved them. I think if you use dark chocolate there is no dairy, but you better do some research

  5. Casey, those look divine! I will have to look into them and see if I can have them. Thanks for the link!

  6. Being sick is one of the hardest things... and here you are being so cheerful and adventurous every day. Kudos to you for making the best out of a bad situation. I hope you find an answer to all of this soon!

  7. ((hugs))

    I'm so sorry you have to go through all this--I've watched my mom go through a very similar journey and I know it can be miserable.

    Next time I do a food day with my mom I'm going to dig out all her favorite GF/DF recipes and try to get them to you.

  8. Weaslewam - Thank you for your kind words. But I wouldn't say I am cheerful and adventurous everyday, those are just the ones I blog about. :P

    Lainie - I would love to get some more recipes/ideas for food! I'm having trouble finding motivation but I know that meal planning is key. Thank you for being so supportive.

  9. I didn't think about it while we were talking earlier, but my SIL (not my favorite one) is GF. My MIL has to do all sorts of GF stuff for her. She makes AMAZING GF sugar cookies, and you don't even realize they are GF. :P

    I'll ask her for some recipes. Send me a message with your other restrictions.