Today marks the day we should have been bringing Daylin into the world. A day that should have finally fulfilled my longing to hold a child in my arms and know it is mine. We should be welcoming our rainbow baby into our family after going through so much loss and grief. Today should have been different.
Instead, today is a relatively normal day. I will go about my business and follow my normal routine. But it is also a familiar day. There are two other days that feel an awful lot like this one. March 14th and September 25th are days that should have been different too. Days where we should have been welcoming babies and celebrating birthdays for years to come. Days that should have been joyous but instead are edged with pain. Days like today.
I have been doing really well emotionally lately, feeling good about where we are in life and okay with our current situation. I have been letting myself feel a bit of hope for the future and for our new game plan to get and stay pregnant. I have been in a good place.
But today, today I am going to let myself feel the pain. Today should have been different. But it's not.
I'll love you forever, I'll like you forever, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be. I love you Daylin.