I just got the results back from my blood work and they were negative. Which means I'm not pregnant. Our first medicated cycle didn't work.
I already knew before getting the phone call that I wasn't pregnant. I've always been an early tester and this cycle was no different. I started testing at home the end of last week and every test I took told me the same thing. Not pregnant.
I hate that single pink line and the huge gap of whiteness beside it. It's just so depressing. Not pregnant.
I'm disappointed and yet strangely, I kind of expected this. I mean, why would it have worked? That would have been just too easy. I was hopeful and yet realistic and sadly enough, I've come to expect the disappointment. Nothing has worked before, why would this cycle have been any different. As you can see, I'm in a bit of a low place right now. I'm discouraged.
I'm trying very hard to just take it one day at a time and not stress about another month of early mornings and daily appointments in Toronto. To not think about the money we'll have to put out again, in the hopes of getting pregnant but knowing full well this next cycle might not work either.
I'm just focusing on today. And today I am going to do laundry, make rice krispie squares and work on a puzzle.