Friday, October 30, 2015

Last IUI Results

I have waited so long to be able to write this post, but now that the moment is actually here, I'm not sure what to write.

Guys, I'm pregnant.


The feelings that I'm currently experiencing are all over the place. Shock, excitement, nervousness, they are all there.

We were totally not expecting this and if you had talked to me in private at all this week, you would know that. Every month that we have ever tried to get pregnant, I always test early. Like, crazy early. So this month was no different and at 11dpo (days past ovulation), I tested. Which of course was negative. It slightly crushed my spirits since I have gotten a positive test at 11dpo before, but I tried to remind myself that it was early and could still change.

I waited two days and tested again at 13dpo, knowing that this would give me the true answer. I usually only have a 13 day luteal phase (when not on progesterone) so I figured testing at 13dpo would be pretty accurate. It was negative.


I was devastated. I could not believe that this cycle was a bust and my heart literally hurt. This was our last go and it didn't work. This was the end.

I went for my beta draw (pregnancy blood test) on Wednesday with a cloud over my head and tears in my eyes. And on the way home I did what any sane person in my situation would do, stopped for supplies.


I returned home and crashed on the couch with yoga pants, junk food and a funny movie. I planned to stay there forever. Or at least the rest of the week. I was giving myself the week to wallow and then would pick myself up next week.

Yesterday I got the dreaded phone call from the nurse telling me that the blood test results were negative. Or at least that's what I assumed the phone call would say. But instead, she cheerfully told me that my numbers were low and I would need to go back for a redraw. WHAT!?!?!? I was seriously shocked. I was 100% sure that this cycle had failed. But nope, she was telling me that I was pregnant.

For those that speak this language, my beta was 12 at 14dpo. I know that the number is low but the only important thing is doubling, so I am hoping that we just have a late implanter on our hands and everything will turn out fine. For those that don't, it just means that I'm barely pregnant. I will get another beta draw today and that number should double (be around 24), which will tell us that this pregnancy is progressing well so far. Unfortunately, I won't get the results from today's test until Monday. Ugh, longest weekend ever.

Dan and I celebrated last night with rhubarb juice. It was a leftover bottle from my sisters wedding that I was saving for this exact occasion.




So that has been the crazy whirlwind of the past 24 hours.

I'm only about 4 weeks pregnant but I knew that I wanted to share with you all because this baby exists and is loved and we are over the moon excited about s/he. No matter what the outcome of this pregnancy is, whether it ends in miscarriage in a few weeks or a baby in 9 months, it deserves to be celebrated. So please join us in cautious excitement and pray/send good vibes that this is our rainbow baby and this pregnancy moves forward as it should. Because I'M PREGNANT!!!

To all my readers who are currently still in the waiting period of infertility, please know that I am thinking of you and feel for you and know how much pregnancy announcements hurt. If you need to take a step back from my blog, I totally understand. But I do promise that this blog will not turn into a baby blog and I will do my best not to flaunt this pregnancy. Updates here will be kept to a minimum and I plan on starting a separate blog for baby related stuff if we actually make it past our loss milestones.

So on that happy note, I will get back to testing incessantly and trying to distract myself from having to wait so long to find out what the next bloodwork results are.


Happy weekend everyone!

27 comments:

  1. I just started tearing up. I am crossing every finger and toe I own to make sure Monday's call is a good one.

    Congratulations on the pregnancy Jennie and Dan! I hope Dan spoils you rotten this weekend :)

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    1. Thanks Casey! I'm glad you're only crossing fingers and toes that you own, it would be awkward to cross other people's appendages. ;)

      We plan on having a pretty lazy weekend, which will be perfect. Although we definitely could use some distracting so the time goes by faster...

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  2. Praying for you! I love your attitude on celebrating this little life. I pary you'll be celebrating this one for the rest of your life

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    1. Thanks! I am trying so hard to remain excited and optimistic for this baby, but it's so hard considering our past experiences. Thanks for praying.

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  3. Jennie and Dan we are praying and praying! Such glorious news! Love you both!

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    1. Thank you! We so very much appreciated the prayers.

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  4. I am so excited and happy for you!

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  5. :D :D :D so excited for you guys! I'm crying a little bit again this morning. Fun celebration pics of you and Dan. :)

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    1. The pregnancy hormones must be making you cry all the time. ;) And I can definitely tell you're excited, all the texts and phone calls show that!

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  6. AW!!! SO EXCITED! (and sending many prayers for this little one to stick around for 9 months!!!)
    I hope this weekend passes quickly and Monday's results from today's beta show great doubling times!!!

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    1. Thanks Kate! I'm really hoping that we are in this for the long haul. And thanks for hoping the weekend passes quickly, it already feels like it's dragging and it's not even Saturday yet...

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    2. Thinking of you today, hoping you get great results!

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  7. I hope today's draw shows a great big jump.

    I'm so happy for you and hoping so hard that you get to bring this little one home.

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    1. Thanks Stasy. I'm really hoping that this is our rainbow baby.

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  8. Yay! Yay! Yay!!! I'm so ecstatic for you and Dan! I love your positive attitude and I will be praying so hard for you guys that you get a good number back on Monday. You know my first number was low too, I think it was also 12. So happy for you and thank you for being open and sharing your wonderful news.

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    1. I love hearing positive stories about low numbers turning into beautiful little babies, so thanks for the encouragement. :)

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  9. Sitting here with tears of joy rolling down my cheeks for you! I'm celebrating this precious life with you. Lots of prayers that Monday brings great numbers. My first beta with DD was somewhere around 20. Congrats, sweetie!

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    1. Thanks for sharing your positive story, it gives me hope. And thanks for the prayers!

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  10. Already so many happy notes for you to read, but I also want to say that I am so happy for you guys. And will continue to pray for the three of you.:)

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    1. Thank you Michele! And I love that you are praying for the three of us. :D

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  11. We are celebrating and cheering and dancing with joy over here in our corner of the world, too, sweet friends!! So much love and so many prayers coming your way!

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    1. I can just imagine the celebrating, cheering and dancing that is happening at your place! Thank you so much for being such a great cheerleader in the good times and a listening ear in the bad. You are truly one amazing friend. I love you Tory.

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  12. Congratulations Jennie and Dan!!! I'm so happy for you! I will be praying and sending positive thoughts your way xo Much love, Shauna

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    1. Thank you Shauna! It's nice hearing from you. :)

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  13. I am so thrilled to hear this news. I will be keeping you in my thoughts. Congratulations.

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